It’s January 1, 2017 at 10:17 am. A brand new year. My husband just called and woke me up. He was surprised that I was still sleeping. Where are the kids? He asked. They’re sleeping too, I replied. He was shocked. Because trust me, this never happens. I also don’t usually let them stay up until midnight. It was New Years Eve though, so I made them. Yep. I did. I MADE my kids stay up late. This is a shocking move in a world where moms are protecting our children from everything. Keeping them safe and locked up from all danger. Children need rest. They shouldn’t stay up late. It will make them so cranky and tired tomorrow. So. Don’t we moms stay up late once in a while, even though we know it will make us cranky and tired? Yes. So why can’t our children? They can’t handle it? Won’t they stay up late in college cramming for an exam and have to take said exam in the morning when they’re tired? Yes. They will. Let’s prepare them for that.
Last night at our neighborhood new years gathering, one of my neighbors was walking around handing pretty sparklers to the children around the bon fire. My kids gladly grabbed them and started swinging them around the air. I told them to stay away from people. I think that’s reasonable. One little girl reached out her little gloved hand and her mom immediately pulled her hand down. NO! She said, daddy said they’re too dangerous. Her little face fell. What exactly was that little sparkler going to do? Let’s search on our smart phones sparkler accidents and find a whole page on the remote serious possibilities of sparkler gone wrong scenarios. There, found them. Perfect. Now moms can say, here’s the proof that I need to make sure my child never gets hurt from a sparkler and that’s why he or she can’t have one for the 45 seconds they sparkle on a stick.
There’s a whole product line emerging of safety devices for children who are of the “toddler” age. These are designed to prevent kids from getting bumps, bruises and injuries while they toddle about. Parents already remove sharp furniture, pad all corners, lock all the cabinets but now we are padding the child too. Just. In. Case. Again, pick up your phone and start googling. You’ll find all kinds of articles and stories about the freak accident that harmed a child when their little bruise turned into something worse. “We could have prevented that with a helmet!” the makers of toddler padding devices are saying. Boom. Someone is making a ton of money on padding for toddlers. Darn, I missed my opportunity to be a millionaire.
A few days ago, my nine year old son was unloading the dishwasher. This is one of his daily chores. There was a larger knife in the dishwasher. I was cooking breakfast. At the exact moment that he pulled the knife out of the dishwasher and it was headed towards the knife drawer, I turned around and leaned over to grab the syrup. Somehow, I’m not even sure how, I cut my hand on the knife. I looked down and cried out in pain, OW! My son instantly got very upset and ran to his room. A few minutes later I came up to talk to him and asked if we have ever talked about a “freak accident.” He said no. I explained to him that sometimes no matter how careful, freak accidents happen. Someone gets hurt because it was just the wrong place at the wrong time. Nothing anyone could do about it. What you can do, I explained, is get me a bandaid and come finish your chore. Some people might not believe in freak accidents but I do. Some might say, knives don’t belong in the dishwasher. Probably true. Some might say, he’s too young to do the dishes. Definitely not true. Some might even take this particular chore and do it themselves to make sure that this doesn’t happen again. It’s safer this way. If I have to have a bandaid for a few days, my son learned something and I still get help with the dishes, then that’s the route I’m taking.
We cannot protect our children from everything. Moms, stop stressing out about all the little things that could remotely go wrong. Let your babies stay up late. Give them a sparkler. Stop putting padded helmets on those beautiful little baby heads. Babies are beautiful and those helmets are darn ugly. And guess what? Your child will get a bruise in their life. Unless you plan to make him or her wear a helmet for the rest of their lives. That might be award in college. Make your kids do the dishes and handle knives. It might be dangerous, but I surely hope they will be unloading the dishwasher many many times for the rest of their lives and they need practice. When we over protect our children, they don’t get to experience something amazing just because there’s a remote possibility of something going wrong. It’s so sad.
I know all about what it’s like to worry. Trust me. As a mom of four boys, we have a crazy life. These boys are all over the place all the time and I’ve always been a worrier. This morning, on this January 1st day of a brand new year, I’m vowing to worry less in 2017. I want to worry less. I want to experience the joys of all these amazing adventures we have without fearing the worst. The sun came up today. I told the boys they could have anything they wanted for breakfast, and I mean anything. Cookies, candy, ice cream, anything. Guess what they had? Oatmeal. Ha. Guess they’re not up for being wild and crazy today like I am, but I’ll keep encouraging them to live it up.
